V for Veracity

This week in class, we spent a lot of time discussing how families differ based on culture, location, social and economical affluence, among other factors. For almost an hour in class, we did a roleplay to look at a family living in Mexico and their journey to ultimately living in the United States of America. I acted as the father, a successful accountant. To cross the border (illegally) cost $4,000, so I had to go alone in order to start setting up life for the rest of my family. In this roleplay, I had a wife, a son, and a daughter. I also had a number of extended family in Mexico, and they were saddened by my family’s retreat but tried to be supportive.

We discussed how, while I may have been a successful accountant in Mexico, my profession wouldn’t do me much good once I got into California and tried to get work. My illegal status meant I would have to settle for a job that paid under the table, with a boss that was willing to break the law and lie to authorities about who they employed. This meant they could potentially be dishonorable and unfair with me, because I have few other choices but to work under them for little pay. I would be sending what little money I could to my family back in Mexico, but the change from two-parent household to one-parent household was taking a toll on my family and extended family.

My youngest, the girl, was being rebellious but grew to trust her mother more and me less. My son was trying to finish high school and work, and the same result was happening with our relationship. When a father is gone for so long in a different country, it’s not surprising that the children should begin to subconsciously loosen their attachments to the one parent and reinforce them with the other.

I worked in America for three years without my family. My children graduated high school in Mexico, but had to ultimately leave their family and friends behind and make the trip with their mother across the border. We discussed the many dangers in crossing the border illegally, from being attacked by drug cartels to bring raped or forced to carry contraband into the country. While I was free of many of these dangers, life was still hard in the United States. I missed living with my wife and children, since I had instead been living with almost half-a-dozen other men in a small studio apartment, and manual labor was never an easy task.

We discussed how things would never be the same in our family once we were reunited. My children respected me less, even though I sacrificed almost everything so they could have a better life. Their mother became the sole parental influence in their life as their continued to go back into American high school and enter relationships.

While I don’t condone illegal activity, and while I believe illegal immigration is a problem, I can understand why a parent or parental unit would take so many risks to give their family a shot at a better life. It is an expression of their love and concern for the well-being of their children, and what parent wouldn’t want to take that risk?

Recognizing and adapting to the diverse families you encounter is an important part of being in this country. So many people are so different in the types of homes they were raised in. Each will have positive and negative experiences that influence and affect their relationships outside of the home. If we are open to learning about the differing family cultures and open to learning how to be more accepting and loving of their individual differences, it will benefit our society and culture in the long-run.

The first thing we looked at in this class was the report written by the American Psychiatric Association that stated the lack of difference between children who come from same-sex parents and heterosexual parents. As it turns out, the research model the APA followed in order to carry out its report is quite shady. Without going into too much detail, I can tell you that with a lack of comparison groups, insignificant sample group sizes, and a disregard for studying the actual children in question, it’s difficult to see how such research and report was deemed admissible by a court. This is not me taking a stance on what I think is right or wrong for children. I believe what I believe, and you are entitled to believe what you believe, as long as you are confident with where the information came from and how it was obtained. I am saying, however, that I am not confident with their report and citations of experiments. If one were to look into the actual studies performed, it would actually prove in some cases that same-sex parents are in fact not as beneficial for children as heterosexual parents. One study in particular compared same-sex parents to single mothers and found no difference. Can you see the problem with that? We already know that any child raised by one parent is at a clear disadvantage to having two parents. So to say that a child raised by two fathers or mothers is going to be at the same level as children raised by single mothers is to say that they are at a disadvantage to straight parents. This goes against what the APA was trying to prove, but it looks as if they were just hoping nobody would look at the fine print. I think it shows a suspicious amount of bias and an unfortunately low level of scientific integrity. Even the layman can just look at the demographics and numbers of who was researched and smell something fishy. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t much care for science, but I do respect honesty and integrity, especially when it comes to our top minds. If one of the most respectable associations is doing their business under the table and trying to fast-talk the courts, where can the people turn for the actual truth? In my first blog post, I discussed how truth has become relative. Truth has turned into perspective. “What is true for me may not be true for you.” In some cases, that might actually be true, but certainly not in all cases. We are so quick as a society to jump on things that upset us, but only a few of us actually take the time to study what’s being said for any ounce of merit. If it makes us mad, we tend to put the person who said it in a box and refuse that there is any truth to what they’re saying. But I digress. The APA has certainly come under scrutiny for some of their research and claims, and rightfully so. No company or organization should be exempt from opportunities of criticism, including scientific organizations and world governments. We are all wrong, sometimes. That is human nature. It should be celebrated but also kept under a magnifying glass so as to not be let out of control. I hope as I continue learning things in this class, I can continue to deliver my thoughts, feelings, and any additional knowledge on the subject to you all. In the meantime, I invite you to look over the APA brief yourself and come to your own opinion on their evaluations.

Don’t believe anything I say. Question everything, and learn it for yourself.

For one of my college courses, I was instructed to start a blog in which I should reflect on the teachings gone over in class. The class in question is “family relations”, and it is apparently quite controversial. Now, I am a member of a church with much history that many would call controversial. Controversy has never seemed to phase me; it has even fueled me in the past when I actually cared to share much of what I know to be true. But the truth of the matter is… nobody listens. Not many people actually care about the truth.

We live in a culture where truth and morals are relative. We hear things like “my truth” or “their truth.” What happened to the truth? The masses have declared that emotion reigns supreme over facts and logic. Hateful and empty rhetoric is spat from both sides of the political aisle in which I have so many friends. I guess the reason I dread writing this blog is that I have developed an outward apathy towards so many subjects as a defense strategy. I would hate to lose a future job opportunity or come under heavy scrutiny just because I shared a belief for a college project. If you decide to follow my blog, and somehow become triggered by something you read, please realize that I would rather keep this all to myself anyway.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton